This is the beginning of the rest of my life; Samhain came and went so I am showing my creative nature by doing Wednesday Wishcasting on Thursday.
So, what treats do I wish for?
I always find this a more complex question than it seems to be on the surface-I myself have started it by saying what I wish for my friends. It is great and generous. However, when I stopped doing that I had to confront the fact that I was not letting myself know what I really wanted.
I think it is because of course you want to look your best and it is often expected and internalized that women will self-sacrifice and wish for others. It is kind and a good thing to do, but I think it important to be aware of your own wishes too.
However, in consumer (US born, middle classish, early 21st c) culture it seems to me that it is not as clever to want and name something, but it is okay to be swept away by it. (We are not even getting into gender details right now.)
So, what treats do I want?
(I know you have read a lot of these before, but they are still treats.)
Adventure, fun, home and love with my chosen family
[redacted]
Community with more self-discovery writers and artists
Spend a couple planned weeks in LA (art, amazing food (omg sushi, burritos and the Grilled Cheese Truck at the very least!), history, BPAL, Disneyland, finding holy places of old Hollywood, Hollywood Forever, seeing old friends and those I might meet for the first time, Dark Delicacies, Venice Beach, the Dreamgirls revue, tattoo art and sunshine!)
An art show of my photography (at La Luz de Jesus in LA-why not?)
More champagne in my life in general
Drive down the Pacific Coast Highway in a red convertible (will need to learn to drive. It will be worth it.)
Haus of Gloi bath goodies
BPAL perfume
Clohes from Gloomth.com (with frilly bloomers)
More heels I can walk in (I did it over the weekend! Not perfect but I did it!)
Rhinestones-keep em coming!
Perform something I have created
Get something wild at Patricia Field
Jewels from Bloodmilk
Pretty journals
To runway model at least once
To attend Blogcademy with Gala Darling in NYC
To go see Sleep No More in NYC
Learn more about doing makeup (and I also want all of Too Faced's Holiday collection, just saying.)
...and okay. I really, really would love to meet Raja from RuPauls Drag Race.
I have spoken to probably broken record point about my love for RuPaul's Drag Race. I love so many of the queens (esp my dear witch-queen Sharon and big hearted Mother Dust Chad Michaels and brave and beautiful Latrice Royale) but Raja is very special. I was in a dark time where I felt sick and couldn't do anything, useless because of my fibro, artistically dry, a horrible breakup-I started watching Drag Race and loved it.
Then I saw Raja and just clicked immediately. She didn't care what anyone else thought of her outfits, made everything she did a piece of art, created such amazing things and was brave enough to do all this in front of all these people.
(I had a therapist once. We were doing a job exercise where I told her something that went against all the other things I had wanted-how much I loved fashion, makeup, art and how I would love to do something that combined things.
She laughed in my face and said I wanted to be a wife-and my heart broke inside me. I hadn't told anyone else about this.
I couldn't talk about it to anyone for months.)
Raja woke me the fuck up.
Raja inspired me to feel gorgeous even when I was scared and didn't feel gorgeous, especially when I didn't feel gorgeous.
Raja inspired me to put on lip gloss every morning even if I felt awful.
Raja inspired me to say to hell with my sickness, I can still be sickening.
Raja inspired me to go for it, be brave and to hell with anyone who talked trash, to do my art, not anyone else's.
Raja taught me that you can love fashion and glamour and to hell with anyone who says it's demeaning.
I have a lot of people to thank for waking me up, I have a lot of support and inspiration and love but Raja got me going and living again.
I have no idea if this will ever happen. People can be different from being on TV, get their personal space invaded all the time, get drained, be crabby and be, well a person. I get overwhelmed and I would not want to push that on somebody else...but yes, I would love to meet Raja.
I think I may need a bigger pumpkin.
